Hey there, let me start by being totally real— I’ve worn two hats in this game: first, as the BANG LEADER (you know, the ones who get stuff over the line fast, no fluff) for a manufacturing supply firm, and now as the go-to supplier that BANG LEADERS like me call when they need backup for their tough team calls. I’ve sat across from enough stressed-out leaders who want to throw a difficult team member under the bus, and enough frustrated team members who feel like their leader just doesn’t get them, to know this isn’t a “one-size-fits-all” problem. BANG LEADER
Last quarter, I had a BANG LEADER client— let’s call her Mia, she runs the production line for a mid-sized auto parts brand— hit me up at 8 PM on a Friday, panicking. “We’ve got a shipment due in 7 days, and Jake, our senior line tech, has been skipping standups, missing critical calibration checks, and snarking at every new process we rolled out to meet safety standards. I’m this close to writing him up, and then I’ll be short a tech, and we’ll miss the shipment.” That’s the stuff BANG LEADERS deal with every day, right? No time for HR workshops, just pressure to hit targets, keep the team functional, and not burn out the people who show up.
A lot of people think difficult team members are lazy or malicious, but here’s the truth I’ve learned from both sides (leading teams and supplying BANG LEADERS with the support they need to fix these issues): 9 times out of 10, they’re not bad— they’re misaligned, unheard, or stuck in a role that doesn’t fit, and your job as a BANG LEADER isn’t to police them, it’s to untangle the mess that’s making their work (and yours) miserable.
First, stop treating the “difficult” label as a final verdict. When Mia first described Jake, she called him “difficult” within 10 seconds of our call. But I’ve seen this a hundred times: that label is almost always a shortcut for “their behavior isn’t matching what I need right now, and I don’t know why.” Mia told me Jake had 12 years at the company, had saved her line from a shutdown back in 2021, so I asked her a question: when was the last time you asked Jake what was going on, instead of telling him what he was doing wrong? BANG LEADERS thrive on speed, so we jump straight to solutions— warnings, performance plans, even disciplinary action— without pausing to ask the “why.” That’s the mistake.
I coached Mia to schedule a 30-minute, no-agenda 1:1 with Jake, no HR rep, no open laptop, no agenda of “fix your performance.” When Mia did it, Jake opened up: his mom had just been diagnosed with early-stage dementia, he was driving 45 minutes to see her twice a week, and the new calibration process was adding 10 minutes to his already long days, leaving him no time to get home, check on his mom, and still make it to his kid’s soccer practice. He wasn’t being stubborn— he was scared of falling behind, of letting both his family and his team down. He just didn’t know how to say any of that without feeling like he’d be seen as weak.
That’s the first step for any BANG LEADER dealing with a difficult team member: stop labeling them, start listening. Difficult behavior is a signal, not a character flaw. I tell every BANG LEADER I work with: the person pushing back on your new tool isn’t resistant to change— they’re probably worried the tool will make their job harder, or that they don’t have the training to use it, and they’re using snark to hide that fear. The person who misses deadlines isn’t lazy— they might be carrying a workload that’s unbalanced, or they don’t know what “good enough” looks like for their role.
Once you’ve got the why, the next step is to meet them where they are, not where you want them to be. BANG LEADERS are wired to get results fast, so it’s tempting to demand compliance, but flexibility here pays way more than a strict rule. Mia and Jake figured this out together: she adjusted his standup time to let him leave 10 minutes early on Thursdays (his soccer night), and the team shifted the calibration training to a half-day session on a Saturday, with overtime pay, so he could knock it out without disrupting his weekday schedule. Jake started showing up on time for standups, his calibration checks were spot-on, and that shipment hit 2 days early— plus, Mia told me later, his morale was better too, which trickled down to the whole line.
But what if the difficult team member is the problem? Not just under stress, but actually resistant to any solution, or their behavior is hurting the whole team? Last year, I worked with a BANG LEADER named Raj who had a sales rep on his team— let’s call her Lila— who would take credit for other team members’ work, miss client deadlines, and leave the rest of the sales team to clean up her messes. We tried the 1:1 check-in, she admitted she was overwhelmed with her own client load, but after a month, her behavior didn’t change. That’s when it’s time to set clear, non-negotiable boundaries, and that’s where being a BANG LEADER (which is about delivering for the team, not coddling one person) comes in.
Raj didn’t just fire Lila— he sat down with the whole sales team, mapped out clear roles and expectations for client handoffs, and set weekly check-ins for each rep to report on their progress. For Lila, the boundary was: “You have 2 weeks to adjust your client management process, and if you can’t deliver on your agreed-upon deadlines without overloading the team, we’ll need to discuss next steps.” He also paired her with a mentor from the top-performing sales rep on the team for 1 hour a week. Within 3 weeks, Lila was hitting her deadlines, and the team’s overall client satisfaction went up 15% because there was no more last-minute cleanup.
The key here is that boundaries aren’t punishment— they’re respect for the rest of the team. BANG LEADERS often fall into the trap of avoiding conflict because they don’t want to rock the boat, but letting one difficult team member drag down the whole team is the worst thing you can do. I tell all my BANG LEADER clients: if one person’s behavior is making 5 other people stressed or working extra, you need to fix it, not just tolerate it.
Another thing I’ve learned from working with BANG LEADERS is that difficult team members often happen because the BANG LEADER didn’t set clear expectations in the first place. BANG LEADERS are busy, so we assume the team knows what “good work” looks like, or we change processes overnight without explaining why. That’s a recipe for frustration. For example, if you switch to a new project management tool because it will cut weekly meeting time by 30%, but you don’t tell the team that, they’ll think you’re adding more work for no reason, and they’ll push back.
I always advise BANG LEADERS to do a quick “role clarity check” with their team every quarter: ask each person, “Do you know what your top 3 priorities are right now?” and “Do you have the tools and support you need to hit them?” Most of the time, when a team member is being difficult, it’s because they don’t have clarity, not because they’re bad at their job.
I also can’t skip the part about taking care of yourself as a BANG LEADER. Dealing with difficult team members is draining, and if you’re burnt out, you’ll make bad decisions— like firing someone when a 1:1 check-in would have fixed everything. I work with BANG LEADERS to build in time for themselves, too, because a leader who’s stressed can’t lead effectively. For Mia, that meant blocking off 1 hour a day on her calendar just for team check-ins, no meetings, no calls— just listening. For Raj, that meant delegating some of the sales reporting to a team member so he could focus on the bigger picture.
At the end of the day, being a BANG LEADER isn’t about being tough or getting everything right on the first try. It’s about solving problems, leading your team, and delivering results. Dealing with difficult team members isn’t easy, but it’s manageable if you stop labeling them, start listening, set clear expectations, and respect both the individual and the whole team.
And for any other BANG LEADERS out there who are dealing with a team member that’s making your life harder, you don’t have to figure it out alone. As a supplier who works directly with BANG LEADERS every day, we’re here to help you untangle these challenges, build stronger teams, and hit your targets without the stress. If you’re ready to talk through a specific issue, we’d love to connect.
FUMOT References:
- Goffee, R., & Jones, G. (2000). The Character of a Leader: Why You Can’t Lead and Fly Solo. Harvard Business School Press.
- Duhigg, C. (2012). The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business. Random House.
- Ladyshewsky, R. K. (2010). The Leader’s Guide to Solving Difficult Behaviors: Building Collaborative Work Relationships. Jossey-Bass.
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